Q & A
photo credit
The Q & A is a new feature at fatgirlweightlossmap.com. Once a month I will be answering questions from you, my beloved readers, about any and all things affecting you as a plus size woman. If you would like your question answered, just go to the “Contact Us” tab and send me your questions.
Dear Trenia,
I live in New York City and I take public transportation everywhere I go, but I’m very self-conscious about sitting next to someone on a crowded bus or train, even if I’m really tired and there is a seat available because I’m afraid the person I sit next to might make a rude comment about my weight or that I’ll be invading someone’s personal space because of my size. I really want to be able to just take a seat and not worry about it but it really bothers me. Any advice?
Plus Size Straphanger
Dear Plus Size Straphanger,
I completely understand how you’re feeling and I think many of us have been in that situation, including myself, and it’s certainly not an easy decision to make. The first thing I would do is truly assess whether or not you can actually fit into the seat, you might be surprised. But if you’re sure you can’t fit, try getting on a train when it’s not too crowded and sit between two people, to ease into it and see how you feel. The reality is if you’re tired and you need to sit down you should take the seat, but that may bother some people. But they do not have the right to say whatever they want simply because they may be annoyed by you sitting next to them. You really have to develop a thick skin when you’re a plus size woman taking public transportation, but you have the right to take the space that you need and nobody should be harassing you like some fat-hating idiot. When I was at my highest weight I armed myself with a series of comebacks, specifically for running into verbal fat haters in public spaces so you may want to do the same. But just know that you have the right to exist in the body you have right now without being lambasted by a total stranger. But if you want a less combative approach, take the next train.
One of my favorite things to say about sharing public space as a fat chick is: This is not your living room. So those people who feel they should be perfectly comfortable on the train or bus or an airplane just need to suck it up and deal. If I sit down next to them and the fit is a little snug, too bad. This isn’t your living room. You’re not supposed to be chillin’ like you’re in your Lazy Boy. Just shut up and let’s all get where we’re going in peace. I have the right to sit down just like anyone else.
I also find that being fat tends to allow me more room. People tend NOT to sit down next to me on the subway because they don’t want to feel squeezed in. I LOVE THAT! And when I fly Southwest, if the flight isn’t too full, no one ever sits next to me. BONUS! I get to spread out. Fatness DOES have it’s benefits.
I think this is definitely a way to expand our perspectives about size, because we hardly ever think about being a bigger size as something that has it’s benefits.